About Being Present

Oana Surdu, find more on Instagram @energyflow.oanasurdu

In the rush of our everyday lives, we are taught we should deliver and much less that we would need or like to be present. What would be the use of being present if this - as it is usually associated with - simply means meditating in stillness on a river bank or in a cave? We need to get things done and presence does not seem to have added value. Taking stock of where we are in our lives, usually through the filter of where we have succeeded and where we failed, only brings up more judgment (be it positive or negative) about what we did and potentially about who we are. Such conclusions however usually do not contribute to truly seeing and honouring ourselves or perceiving what we truly have in our lives or where we would want to go forward.

Why is presence difficult?

In the search for a meaningful life and living, how often do we turn to truly investigating what is happening inside of us? Already realising there may be a disconnect in our lives at times is an act of presence. In a society where the tendency is to look outside of ourselves for an answer, having the patience and drive to see what is happening within and what would be a good fit for me personally, is a big step towards connecting with our inner truths. Such truths or the path towards them remain individual, even if many systems would tell us that essentially we all want the same things. Our loaded backgrounds - mentally, emotionally, energetically - plus our choices make us unique combinations, puzzles which are ultimately for ourselves to figure out.

When practicing presence (which is basically non-judgmental observation) we may discover many new things about ourselves, once we go beyond the initial feeling of frustration. In reality, when we are able to really look at things with an open mind and no interpretation, we may observe that some of the things we thought we knew may look differently when we don’t project onto them our beliefs. The tendency to judge or overthink are things we can observe in the process. Another obstacle could be here discovering something different about ourselves, which for our subconscious minds can equal a threat to the stability of our systems. We are taught that stability is the most important, even if that means at times remaining stuck in our lives in contexts we are not particularly happy with.

What could be the benefits of being present?

Well, for one thing, we may resonate with our newly discovered truths as they would correspond more closely to who we are now. Another element could be that in this discovery perhaps some of the myths of modern day society may not or no longer fully apply to us (for instance measuring the value of who we are with what we have in our lives, or  realising we would much rather lead another kind of life instead of having a career, or so on). How liberating could something like this be if we were willing to receive it? And how many of our "to dos" would naturally disappear? The act of being fully present with ourselves is for me as well a deeply caring act, in which we grant to ourselves things we expect from others (true non-judgmental observation, patience no matter what pops up, support for what is there in the moment etc).

True presence is not easy and most cultures do not teach us how to get there or include it as a daily practice. Exercising this “muscle” requires patience and a relentless wish to get back on track, when faced with the also relentless wondering of the mind. It is keeping the faith and making it part of our lives that brings results. Simple as it may seem, being present is essential for any path of self-knowledge, paving the way for connecting with our own truths and choices that support us throughout our lives.